Subject: Let's Go Hunting!

A BILL to Regulate the Hunting and Harvesting of ATTORNEYS

SS 370.00

      370.01  Any person with a valid Texas State Rodent or Armadillo
              hunting license may also hunt and harvest attorneys for
              recreational and sport (non-commercial) purposes.

      370.02  Taking of attorneys with traps or deadfalls is permitted.
              The use of United States currency as bait, however, is
              prohibited.

      370.03  The willful killing of attorneys with a motor vehicle is
              prohibited, unless such vehicle is an ambulance being driven
              in reverse.  If an attorney is accidentally struck by a motor
              vehicle, the dead attorney should be removed to the roadside,
              and the vehicle should proceed to the nearest car wash.

      370.04  It is unlawful to chase, herd or harvest attorneys from a

      370.05  It is unlawful to shout, "WHIPLASH!", "AMBULANCE!", or

      370.06  It is unlawful to hunt attorneys within 100 yards of BMW,
              Mercedes, or Porsche dealerships.

      370.07  It is unlawful to hunt attorneys within 200 yards of
              courtrooms, law libraries, health clubs, country clubs,
              hospitals, or brothels.

      370.08  If an attorney gains elective office, it is not necessary to

      370.09  It is unlawful for a hunter to wear a disguise as a reporter,
              accident victim, physician, chiropractor, or tax accountant
              for the purpose of hunting attorneys.

      370.10  Bag Limits per day:
                 Yellow-Bellied Sidewinders         2
                 Two-Faced Tortfeasors              1
                 Back-Stabbing Divorce Litigators   3
                 Horn-Rimmed Cut-throats            2
                 Minutiae-Advocating Chickens#!ts   4
                 Honest Attorneys       Protected (Endangered Species)