Subject: A letter from home... Dear Son, Just a few lines to let you know I'm well. I'm writing slow, as I know you can't read fast. You won't know the house when you come home--we've moved. Your Father has a new job. He has 500 people under him! He cuts the grass down at the cemetary. Our neighbors started to raise pigs, and we got wind of it this morning! We have a new washing machine in our new house, but it doesn't work very well. I put in 4 shirts and pulled the chain, and I haven't seen the shirts since! I'm told the boy's at school here have new suits, but we can't afford one for your brother, so we're going to buy him a new hat and just let him look out the window! Your sister had her baby this morning, but I don't know if it was a boy or a girl, so I don't know if your an Aunt or an Uncle. Your Uncle Bill drowned in a vat of whiskey at the distilery last week. We cremated his body, and it took 3 days to put the fire out! I went to the doctor last week, and he put a glass tube in my mouth and told me to keep my mouth shut for 10 minutes--your father wanted to buy it right away! We got a letter from the undertaker. It said if we didn't pay the funeral bill for your grandmother within 10 days-- up she comes! I must close now as the plumber is here to fix the washing machine, and it smells terrible! Your loving Mother....