The Life cycle of the backyard mechanic.


 The stages in the life cycle of the Backyard Mechanic are varied and interes-
 ting. The first stage is called The Searching. During this stage the mechanic
 looks for his tools in many places that usually includes the refrigerator.
 The time it takes to find them is figured by multiplying the time it takes
 for him to lose his temper by three.

 The next stage is The Wrenching. The mechanic takes a wrench and tries to
 remove a bolt that is not as strong as the wrench. Wrenching and jerking he
 discovers his error after leaving a sizable portion of his knuckles on the
 engine block.

 Then comes The Oiling. The mechanic removes the oil plug and lets the old oil
 drain into a basin. He hates oil spills. Then he pours in the new oil and then
 he remembers to replace the oil plug. Not only that, but he's also standing
 in the oil puddle. After picking himself off the ground he slips and slides
 six miles to the store to get more oil and carpet cleaner.

 The final stage is called the Short Lived Triumph. At last he sits behind the
 wheel. Nervously he reaches for the ignition. The engine starts smoothly,
 then CRUNCH! Too late he remembers that he left his brand new KMart AM/FM CD
 Ghetto Blaster too close to the engine fan!
 While wiping the look of ashen horror off his rugged features he rushes to
 the front of the car only to find that his radio has been fully digested. In
 fury he kicks the tire and makes the interesting discovery, that he CAN remo-
 ve a hubcap with his foot!

 After ascertaining that his foot is indeed broken he decides to take the car
 to someone who does know what he is doing! This decision marks the final and
 last stage in the life style of the Backyard Mechanic!